The 5 Love Languages of Children

Sam Parker referred to Love Languages in ‘Everyday Dadding’ (Turning Little Stones Podcast; season 2; episode 11). 

Dr Gary Chapman, bestselling author of ‘The 5 Love Languages’ has influenced and enriched the lives of many couples by illuminating how knowing one another’s love language can transform relationships. 

It is a simple tool that accepts that different people with different personalities communicate love differently. As we learn to speak the love language of our loved ones, we can make the important people in our lives feel loved… and that includes our children! 

Understanding our own and our partner’s primary love language is important. 

Understanding our own primary love language means knowing ourselves better and letting others know how they can best express their love to us. 

We might think we are communicating our love to our spouse or partner, but for it to be received well, it’s best to express love in their love language. 

Knowing our children’s primary love language is also important. 

Of course we want our children to feel loved, but young children have not yet learnt how best to speak about their feelings. 

The good news is that our children show us their primary love language in their unfiltered responses. Adults who are intentional about affirming their children, will want to notice and determine what are their primary love language to better understand, accept and enrich them. 

We can express our love for one another more effectively if we learn to speak our loved one’s love language. 

Receiving Gifts to the person with this Love Language are simple, thoughtful gestures that communicate that they are loved, cared for and treasured. Children who speak this love language will love birthday celebrations, pick flowers, find small treasures to give to someone... 

 

Quality Time to the person with this Love Language means they value full undivided attention. Setting aside chores to be there is vital for them. Children who speak this love language will want to be with you and not “run off to play”. Being with you will make them feel special and loved. 

 

Physical touch refers to thoughtful, appropriate ways to communicate care, concern, and love. Children who speak this love language will often stroke hair or clothes. Their sense of security grows though simple wordless ways… (a pat on the back, a gentle hand hold, an arm on a shoulder). 

 

Words of affirmation refer to meaningful appropriate compliments that build others up. Children who speak this love language will often complement others. For them, kind and encouraging words are treasured and life affirming. Conversely criticism and insults are not easily forgotten. 

 

Acts of service are those small expressions of love that speak volumes to the receiver who feels burdened and overwhelmed. Children who speak this love language will often want to help, “Let me do that for you!” 

 

 

Based on the award-winning book 

‘The 5 Love Languages of Children: the secret to loving children effectively’, Chapman, G & Campbell, R, (2016) Moody Publishers (ISBN: 978-0802412850)